a MAN'S Survival Guide. . .

. . .to a WOMAN'S outing.

1. Lay down and play DEAD.

Never too early to learn this valuable skill.

This tactical skill can be used in all dire situations

including (but not limited to) the following:

hair salons

malls

garage sales

after church

visiting teaching visits

"quick" grocery store runs

Top 10 Dead Give Aways that we're not REAL Pioneers

We recently celebrated the Mormon Battalion Commemoration down at Old Town. It was such a beautiful San Diego day and all the little activities in the common were a blast for the kids.

Even though we dressed up and looked the part and even participated in the parade, there are a few dead give aways that we're not "real" pioneer stock.

# 10- The rope that the kids made was later used not only to play "ninja" but was also an instrumental prop in one of Avery's story-lines as it suspended "butterfly" Barbie up from the barbie house rafters.

#9- The kids kept referring to these biscuits as "marshmallows." Proof that the only real outdoor cooking exposure they get is making s'mores at the beach.

#8- Austin insisted on checking out the "bomb" that would go off every hour. The closest thing that he could associate with an actual cannon was the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Disneyland.

#7- Though Avery did surprisingly well (better than many of us adults who tried) with her first feather plume pen writing experience, all of the hours she's logged with twistable crayons, crayola markers, glitter glue pens and mechanical pencils left her a bit ill-prepared to handle such a sensitive writing implement.

#6- Austin refused to wear the leather hat for the event yet happily complied to strap on his camouflage canteen once Gramma filled it up with raspberry lemonade. Yeah that whole drinking from bug infested swamp water bit?? Never would have happened. Forget dying from consumption, dysentery or a snake bite, we'd probably all be dead from dehydration alone without our lemonade.

#5- Even though my brother Taylor (on the stage to the right) was picked to be in the Color Guard and hold the US flag and did a great job, I'm pretty sure a real battalion member wasn't wearing size 12 Airwalks at the time.

#4- Austin thought the other pioneer games were "boring" and in the absence of an iTouch to play games on, became obsessed with playing this marble game instead.

#3- Though we drove down in a fully air-conditioned car, parked right out front, walked straight in and joined the parade, the kids STILL pooped out before finishing the 2nd lap of the 500 meter parade. Back in the day, we wouldn't have made it outside of the Fort Levenworth after getting supplies before the kiddies would be "so tired" and wanting to hitch a ride in the wagon.

(Best part was a woman walking next to me who saw Chase and kept telling my how "amazing" I was and asking if I was okay or needed any water. It made me wonder if she actually thought I had just birthed him in a patch of grass coming across the plains for real.)

#2- There's a true story of a little boy who wanted to accompany his dad in the battalion and walked on his own for 8 days before he caught up with the company. My little son would have done exactly the same. . .as long as he was promised a cool gun to hold, had a pocket full of fruit snacks, a sippy cup of hot chocolate, and if it was only a 7 minute walk (that might even be pushing it too) on a nice sunny day with the promise of ice cream or a park play date at the end. This little man didn't even make it the 1 lap around with all the kids before bailing and trotting across the center back to his marble game. My little soldier!

#1- The biggest give away that we wouldn't last a day in pioneer shoes? After devouring the backpack's worth of snacks we brought and hitting up the biscuit station multiple times, we were still "STARVING" and headed straight to Costco afterwards to eat our fill of hotdogs, pizza slices and knock down a couple chocolate ice cream bars while we were at it and then going inside to buy our weekly cache of 6 gallons of milk, 3 lbs of cheese, breads and bagels and 2 dozen eggs. Too bad they were fresh out of hard tack. Dang!

Sending You Some Bunker Love

May you get LOTS of hugs and

may YOUR sweet cheeks

gets lots of kisses!

XOXO,

the Bunkers

Totally and Utterly Whipped

The same day that I saw my sister's blog about her daughter's swinger Barbies, I figured I ought to be a responsible parent and check out what Avery's mini household is up to these days.

It made me giggle when I saw this.

Now here is a man who knows his place in his woman's life.

Poor Flynn has his work cut out for him
as the only male Barbie amongst all these lovely ladies.

What's next for the poor guy?

Picking off barnacles off Mermaid's tail?

Wiping the slime, I mean mucus, out of Tiana's hair?

Yup.

He's the definite poop scooper in this relationship.

As if Barbie would ever clean up after a dog.

I'd like to think that Avery models her Barbie household
after what she sees here at home.
I too like to keep an extra prom dress ready
just in case I spill on my favorite metallic blue one.
(Don't mind the Humpty Dumpty creeper in the window.)

Umm. . .

think she might have seen this at home before

with the crib by the bed and Mommy totally passed out next to it?

(the crazy blonde bed-head is right on the money,

the smiling face all decked out in make-up...maybe not so much)

Is it bad I'm jealous of a Barbie?

Poor, poor Jessie.
A romantic dinner for two all prepared and waiting
but Flynn is up on the veranda with his flock of women
and there's no way Austin is letting his Buzz or Woody
(or any of his super heroes for that matter)
into this tea party without his direct supervision.

Hope your Valentine's turns out better than Jessie's
(or Flynn's for that matter)

Top 4 Reasons Why. . .

. . .being 4 Rocks

1. The FOOD

Who knew that turning 4 brought with it such delectable selections?

Like the requested red pancakes, dried mangoes and hot chocolate breakfast in bed

(look at that room service!)

or the special treat that Phil the Groundhog leaves

(perks to sharing a birthday with him)

Then there's the ultimate in gourmet h'orderves-

chocolate "tires"

served in the hottest new fashion

Followed by pure asphalt scrumptiousness

Then of course there's the biggest food hit of all.

We're talking none other than

Weiner Racers!!!

The #2 Reason Why Being 4 Rocks:

the FRIENDS

We're not talking one or two either.

We're talking serious

running, jumping, screaming, giggling, racing, hollering,

play-till-you pass-out friends.

Those are the best kind.

Who just happen to bring the cutest presents

and the most fun ones

The 3rd Reason Why Being 4 Rocks:

the FUN!

When we were brainstorming birthday party theme ideas we knew a race car party would be the perfect party for our 4 year old. Austin and his little buddies had a blast-so worth it!

When they came in, the boys got to select

their ultimate speed racer machine

and then decorate it accordingly.

With racing flags in hand the races began.

Jared's racing ramp was a HUGE hit.

He insisted on the ramp at the bottom and the kids loved watching their race cars fly over the edge each time each insisting, "I won!!!"

A dead give-away you're the only invited GIRL at a BOY'S party-

(the only one still taking advantage of the arts & crafts table)

The boys lasted a few minutes and then they were off racing.

You can't have a race without a trophy.

We made sure everyone made it into the winner's circle.

Try as we might we couldn't get Michiko to wear a bikini

to make it really authentic.

Avery would have jumped at the chance

so we didn't offer her the position.

The little speedsters LOVED the awards assembly.

Best part was seeing one of the boys at church the next day,

still clutching his trophy.

Gramma's artwork has become quite the tradition now and

Austin was so excited to ask Gramma to do this-

so we could play this-

So entertaining!

Cheater.

Good thing he's the birthday boy

Red Light, Green Light was a big hit

Though the final face-offs were real nail-biters

As was freeze tag where you had to go to "jail"

(aka the trampoline)

when you got caught.

Needless to say, everyone wanted to be the po-po

The 4th Reason Why Being 4 Rocks:

the Family

including the painter

the planner

the presenter

the party pooper

(who thankfully made it easy for me and slept through the whole party)

the princess(es)

(twinsies of course)

and the performer

who will do just about anything for a tasty morsel of food

much to the kids' entertainment

(which is why we kept tying weiner racer leftovers waaaaaay up high for him to get)

Here's to being 4 and all the perks that comes with it!

Happy Birthday Austin!!

We love our little Speed Racer!!